I want to thank those who have been sending me little notes.  It helps me so much.  I can't

sit here and write long, but just to hear from my loved ones, really helps me .  Please if it is just a hello, come visit me.

I will try my best if it is only a paragraph, to keep everyone up on myself more. 

Tomorrow I have an important doctor visit.  I'll try to let everyone know what happens.

A little update.  The Scleroderma has hit my organs real bad.  My liver is in trouble now. They are afraid my kidneys are going to shut down.  Tomorrow I will know more.

My heart is still the same, and always will be.  I love you all.

God bless each of you...........Atoka

Hello all my dearest friends.  I sit here a bit before seven o'clock this morning.  I was laying

in bed wondering what to say or do here, but it now will have to be how I live, day at a time, and

sometimes a word at a time.

It has been so long since I have written even a letter it feels as though I am beginning all over again!

So much has changed.  There will be so much that I won't even get to as the couple of years I have

been gone, sometimes cannot be made up in words.  We will just see how it goes.

This new Xanga I need to study!  Wow it has really come up and out!

I like the idea of just writing short, off the top of the head writings.  As sometimes that is all I have!

Strange all this time, there is not one of you that I have forgotten.  In fact I feel stronger connections

to some. 

I hope by coming back, I will strengthen my life and friendships.  At this time  I don't see too many

people or have too many friends.  I am so completely homebound.  I have my nurses that come in,

then my dearest friend Luan, we see each other about once a week.  She has been a Angel so

many times for me.

A short update on me.  I don't want this to become a medical blog.

The Scleroderma has had so many friends come to be with it.

SYSTEMIC SCLEROSIS, REYNOLDS, SOJOURNS, FIBROMYALGIA , GRAVES DISEASE,

GERD, HIATAL HERNIA, LEVEL 4 ESOPHAGITIS, SPINAL OSTEOARTHRITIS.

NEURAPATHY, and the companion to Neuropathy, Diabetes.

I guess as time goes by each will be addressed.

Much of the time that I have been gone, Luan and I have been working on my apartment so

that I can enjoy being in more.  I have so many crafts set up.  My true hearts desire as far as

those things go is making Jewelry.  I have a page I have put some of it up on, not nearly all

that I have made though. I need to do that very soon.

The link to that page is http://www.angelfire.com/in3/Atoka/my_beading/index.album?i=7&s=

I will try to get it all there, plus I have many projects going.  I have always loved beading of course, but

I have gotten into some more eclectic type of work, I have an awesome lady I love to follow her work.

She has a blog and tutorials. You may see this coming up if I work hard enough.

http://www.enioken.com/journal/index.html

As we get my work station fixed up, I will post a picture so all will see where I am a lot.  It all depends

on the day.   Some days I can work for long times, and some days sitting here is not possible.

I plan on many more days of being here.  Also that is when you will learn and see what I work on at

different times. 

I think with the new Xanga it will be neat to be able to put up video's, so many new things.

I will go now, but hope to be back as much as possible.  I have made the first step, and I need

as before a way to write, and explain my life and heart to my future generations. 

As always I love you all.  God bless............Atoka (Morning Star) (I will explain that soon)